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Type of bind: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 155.25
EAN num: 9781582380407
ISBN number: 1582380406
Label: St. Martin's Griffin
Manufacturer: St. Martin's Griffin
Quantity: 1
Page Count: 291
Printing Date: January 01, 1998
Publishing house: St. Martin's Griffin
Sale Popularity Level: 268391
Studio: St. Martin's Griffin
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Learn the Secrets of Happiness In a culture that glorifies the carefree pleasures of youth, we are often preoccupied with the search for happiness and complain when the reality of adult responsibility pulls us farther and farther away from our adolescent hopes and expectation. But with remarkable wit and irreverence, Dr. Frank Pittman reassures us that all adults can, indeed, achieve happiness. His solution fo this modern malaise is refreshingly simple: Grow up. Stop confusing happiness with self-indulgence and learn to appreciate the simple pleasures in life. Dr. Pittman cleverly blends his professional wisdom with cultural paralells, weaving references to film, literature and other modern-day icons with his own experiences and case studies. With a clear sense of optimism and ethusiasm, he illustrates the rewards that accompany the transtion into adulthood. He takes on gender role, marriage, parenting, divorce, and depression and reveals some of his secrets of living happily. Revealing that the true essence of happiness stems from personal honor and integrity, Dr. Pittman urges adults to reconsider their roles in their families and society, because 'knowing that we have the power to increase the level of happiness in the world may be the ultimate secret of happiness.'
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Rated by buyers 
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I bought this book on the recommendation of a friend whose opinions and attitudes I have long respected. She had cited for me a few paragraphs and I thought it would be something I would enjoy, if not agree with totally--at least it would be stimulating food for thought.
I was very surprised to open to book and find Dr. Pittman's advice to be really lacking basis. There were many times when I couldn't actually decipher what his point was exactly, or what he suggest we do to go about remedying our lives and our world.
I agree that we are living in a world that is quickly being taken over by consumerism, thoughtlessness, and pretense. I agree that many of the attitudes being celebrated are, at their cores, immature. I also agree that all of this is learned, and is thus a choice that we can make, or not make. We are in charge of our lives, and it is our job to own up to that responsibility--if we don't, we live in a world where other people and powers-that-be control us, and that doesn't feel good no matter how we might try to convince ourselves otherwise.
But I don't think this is worth writing a nearly 300-page book about, or worth the reader's money to buy it. It seems to me that these conclusions are rather obvious, if you just keep your eyes and ears open--and I would hope that anyone who is interested in this book has already taken that step, and realizes that something's amiss. I have yet to see what exactly is entailed by "growing up," in Dr. Pittman's opinion. How exactly does one do that? Chances are, the people who are most in need of this statement have not learned this skill, or else they wouldn't need the book. Grow up....how?....by growing up!
All in all, I was disappointed. The content is not what I thought it would be, and in the midst of that I'm afraid his "witty" writing style was lost on me. I wish I would have perused this in a bookstore before spending the money.
Rated by buyers 
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There's a good reason why I rated this book down despite my own feeling that Frank Pittman is right.
Dr. Pittman fails to take into account the religious philosophies of his readership. I agree that the trend toward higher and higher numbers of divorces is wrong. I agree that we shouldn't be paying so much attention to cultural gurus such as Martha Stewart (in his chapter on women, he states outright: "Martha Stewart? Who's Martha Stewart?"). I agree with most of what Dr. Pittman (a practicing psychiatrist) says.
BUT - what is the role of God in Dr. Pittman's philosophy? One of the few things that has helped me cope with the family I was raised in is Jesus' words about "I come not to bring peace, but a sword." In other words, how does one cope if one's moral system comes into direct conflict with the system advocated by a dysfunctional family? What if you're being forced into a life of crime or domestic violence and you know that's just plain wrong? Are we forced to interact with a family like that despite the inherent danger? Dr. Pittman would seem to think that we are, and I wish he wouldn't have been so adamant on that.
That philosophy - one of following Jesus rather than my family - has been the only thing enabling me to let go and not get all tied up in family disputes. But Dr. Pittman would apparently have me go back into a system like that if only to forgive or let go of the tar baby, not realizing that the tar baby is sticky and will entrap us. And that is why Dr. Pittman gets only three stars from me.
Rated by buyers -
As a layman reading this, I thought there were several concepts of interest;
Adult Children - some of us are stuck in our adolescent ways, never growing up, even as adults.
Collapse of Patriarchy - in today's world of social upheaval, where anything goes (and it ususally does), we and our children live in a world where traditional concepts are challenged. This applies to gender, age, etc etc. (Pittman compares this to the decline of Windsor) Our world is increasingly becoming narcisstic, we're trained to consume more and more.
In this post patriarchy world, we are even more challenged to grow ourselves and that of our children.
Pittman's message is simply Grow Up! Take responsiblity for yourself, your choices, your relationships, and forgive your parents.
Still a good read that most people should enjoy, even if they don't agree with everything he says.
Rated by buyers 
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If my enemy's enemy is my friend, I should have loved this book. Like Pittman, I abhor the effect of pop psychology and much psychotherapy, valorizing as it does self-absorption, hedonism, and immaturity. But this book offended me deeply.
Consider this example: Of Black people who believe that their current difficulties have something to do with being the descendants of slaves in a racist country, Pittman says that attitude is "not helpful" because "that was then; this is now." (p. 33) Unfortunately for Pittman's pompous pronouncing, a fair body of very, very solid research--represented by, say, Dalton Conley's "Being Black, Living in the Red"--shows that he is just flat wrong. And if Pittman had spent some of his career teaching at a historically Black college that serves mostly poor students, rather than treating individuals affluent enough to pay private practice fees, or reviewing the effectiveness of social welfare and remedial education programs instead of reviewing movies, he would have a greater appreciation of how ludicrous attitudes like his are.
The same attitude shows itself in his condescension toward a woman whose economic woes probably do, in fact--despite Pittman's preachments--reflect the fact that when she was of an age to undertake professional education, sexism kept her out of medical school.
It would be nice if Pittman helped us understand how to deal with the real and dire effects of legacies of oppression, instead of blaming victims for the inevitable disadvantages they suffer. Of course, if he did that, and really had some experience and knowledge of what it's like to try to help overcome such baleful and ugly effects, he might not be so happy as he so proudly and frequently tells us he is. He might sometimes suffer despair that, in fact, horrible things are simply beyond the power of anyone to change quickly enough. (I'm a white guy, by the way--who has enjoyed all the cultural advantages thereof. I just have some sensitivity to, and experience with, and knowledge of the research on, what oppression does to communities and their members.)
Here's another Pittman pronouncement; "The rules of appropriate ways to act and treat other people aren't very different from culture to culture, century to century, or even millenium to millenium" Wow. What have all those cultural anthropologists and cultural historians been wasting their time on? Why have policy makers been in such a tizzy about what to do over female gential mutilation among certain minorities in ths country? Why have so many philosophers wasted so much time trying to figure out we can even justify any notion of objective, imperative morals in the face of the extreme differences between moral codes in diverse times and places? Why do we in America consider infanticide evil, if rules haven't changed much? Why, in some cultures (even some subcultures within America) is incest considered no big deal, and certainly no one's business but the family, while elsewhere we see it as an absolutely horrid issue that calls for social intervention. Why do we no longer hold slaves? Why is it no longer honorable for men to take teen-aged boys as lovers? If Pittman were right, I guess I could go get a harem and some slaves, and some teen-age boy friends, and I could kill off any inconvenient children--since rules of how to treat each other allegedly haven't changed much.
Well, these examples reflect the level of scholarship and careful thought contained in Pittman's book. This book is just dogmatic. It suggests that Pittman lacks respect for serious scholars and analysts--who are quite grown up--whose views do not agree with his.
I'm not quite sure why Pittman thinks people who live other ways than he suggests aren't grown ups, or why he thinks he has, from his therapy room and pop psych advice columnist chair, divined the essence of maturity. His views just won't hold water, when compared to responsible research.
I don't know how Pittman votes, but this is pretty thoroughly a 1950s-style Republican panegyric, a paean to "culture is nothing, context is nothing, history is irrelevant, anyone can be happy if he or she just quits whining and gets busy" ideology. It is neither well researched nor responsive to mainstream scholarship and research.
America's current love affair with self-absorption, served by its hirelings in the psychotherapy and self-help industries, should certainly be opposed vehemently. But it should be opposed with careful research, sound analysis, and responsible thought--that is, responsive to the respectable views of others, especially more well-informed, others. With its lack of such attributes, this book strikes me as simply an author's self-indulgence.
If you are looking for a thoughtful analysis of the ill effects of pop psychology and kindred businsses, if you are looking for a well-informed analysis ... Read More
Rated by buyers 
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Finally a self help book written by a therapist who thinks that we should focus on being grown ups and not self indulgent children with little regard for others. A witty and entertaining book about becoming a grown up and being responsible for your actions and emotions. Novel concepts in our current society, I know. Women will love this book because the author does a great job of trying to point men in directions that will allow them to have deeper and more fulfilling relationships with women. The anecdotes about his patients (he as been a therapist for a long time) and his family really add to the flavor of this easy read. I think that you will find this an enjoyable and enlightening book. I know that I did.
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